Step by step as i walked across the beach, i made paw prints instead of feet

Head Hurts

2009-08-19T18:52:00.003+01:00

Insomnia setting in, is that my muse calling out to me, or is it just my head?

I'm the only one wide awake while the rest became the sleeping dead.

Trying to make each sentence rhyme, yet not sure of the reason why.

I'm just trying to avoid more problems and let each day pass by.

Music is now paying a visit to my head, but there's no one home.

Where has my mind gone at this hour instead of staying in its cozy dome?

I need time but she has abandoned me,

While a mist slowly forms over her figure till I can no longer see.

Stuck in the past and not moving on.

I tried my best to go forward but i got scorned.

Family and friends lend a helping hand without realising that their hands are clad with thorns.

I had no choice but to injure myself while holding on.

Maybe I just need a hug, no comforting words at all, no sound.

Just the action perhaps, to calm me down.

To yearn for such things is slowly turning into a sin,

For it might better to act strong instead of creating a din.

I'm not an exhibitionist, showing how I feel to get some attention.

Just want to confide, scream and let it out of the system.

Do you know when does my tiredness show?

But to those who know ,what do you really know?

Time For Myself

2009-08-12T16:02:00.006+01:00

Last week was pretty well spent.. Hmm.. could say the same for my money as well- not really considered "well spent", it's more of like a "all spent"..

Went to Batam with NTU gang,

then Genting with Gold Kili colleagues,

paintball the following day with RELC buddies and

clubbing at night with another group of happening friends..

One whole week for myself and I enjoyed it pretty much, although at times I wish that J is around but I think that is pretty much impossible.

Well.. went out today again for some shopping and didn't buy anything much.. but while doing my window shopping I realised that Singapore is a screwed up country haha..

Imagine.. Studying in Primary School, then moving on to Secondary School, followed by JC, NS then army.. How old am I now? How much longer can I stay young? It is kinda frustrating to know that we spend our prime years leading such a monotonous lifestyle and in the end when we really want to enjoy the "fruits of our labour", we are already 30 or even older.. Our youth is just wasted.

I tried to talk to my aunt about it.. Well.. let's just say that she is another one who is already brainwashed by Singapore.

Meanwhile.. I do have some plans.. But I'll do things slowly.. It's about time for me to have more control over my life. J, ha sometimes I do need a bit of listening ear.

I do have some regrets but what's the point of talking about that? Haha it's already over isn't it?

2009-07-24T12:35:00.002+01:00

今天的主题：灰

不是每一个问题都只有一个答案。不是每一件事都能分得出是非黑白。

从Westmall回来的路程，脑海里一直浮现出自己回答不出的问题。

好矛盾，好心烦。我，在一天之内，竟然毁了两年多的爱情。

有好多自己不能回答的问题。对太多事情有很大的期待。

家

家的定义是什么？只是吃得饱，睡得好吗？什么是爱？什么是关怀？在我们的能力范围里能够给的解释可能太过肤浅了。

在我的眼里，我从没认为我有一个我想要的家。其他人可能会说，为什么要那么悲观呢？其实还有很多生长在更不理想的家庭环境里。随你们怎么说吧。可能是我人心不足，过于要求太多。我，不能接受这种家庭。

我不想看到父亲亏欠任何一个人，可是都已经过了二十多年了，每一年仿佛是历史不断地在重演。老爸还是不争气，亲戚也还是看不起他。为什么他要沦落到这个地步呢？想必只有他知吧。以他这种得过且过的心态来过他的生活，身为儿子的我，也真得看不下去了。活到了一大把年纪，却连一分钱也不会收好，得到的钱一定要直接花完。我和妹妹也都遗传到了这个坏毛病。是该死。

家里的两个姑姑，也因为知道她们的弟弟没有能力亲手带大自己的两个孩子，才浪费了将近整个人生，非常努力的栽培我们两。最后她们得到的是什么？还不只是我们的叛逆想法与批评。如果真的想说好心没好报，那以我们兄妹俩来做例子可是最好不过了。

第四位姑姑其实并没恶意，但是曾服过军的她，個性也稍微固执些。她的脾气也可以说是家中最大的，只要是她有任何不满，即使是芝麻绿豆之事都能惹祸她。妹妹也因为常发小脾气而跟她起了不少冲突。

第三位姑姑的烹饪技术可说是了不起，也可以说是我们的一家之“煮”。虽然她小时候得了小儿麻痹症，但是这并难不倒她-当我还小的时候她还会追着打我。她的性格处于不暴躁但也并不温顺。她只不过是不会注重我和妹妹的个人隐私，常常会为了一些私人的事而想尽办法追根究底。常常搞到局面变得非常的尴尬。

我的妹妹还小，所以我很希望她能够快点懂事。我没把她教好而之顾自己，所以她越变越叛逆。如果有一天我们全部都不在了，那她该怎么办？

最后的就是婆婆了。自从她跌倒了入院一直到她得了老人痴呆症，就常惹两位姑姑生气。也因为常被骂而开始对每件事感到麻木，置之不理了。

当我提起他们时，并不怎么会感到心酸。因为我也开始，慢慢地对家里的事而感到麻木了。家里常常传出吵闹声- 三姑与婆婆，四姑与爸爸等等。为了什么而吵呢？非得把彼此的关系闹僵了才心满意足吗？

爱人

跟他在一起也超过两年了，和他在一起非常开心。但是我认为，我们俩并还没办法真正地去容忍对方的错误。他可说是我一生中依赖最多的人，也是唯一一个能够说服我这世上爱是不分性别的。如果现在有任何一个人读了这篇“文章”，也就该知道我二十多年想隐瞒的事了。他给我的鼓励与支持胜过与我所给他的，但是我还是不知足。他能为了我而尽量地去克服自己的惧高症，但是我什么也没做到。在他的二十一岁生日，反而是他的朋友花了更多的心思为他庆祝。我给他的只有过分的要求，时不时就伤他的自尊心，让他失去信心。我哪里有资格去爱一个人？我也累了，不想吵了。难道家里的“收音机”还开得不够大声吗？

我比较适合一个人。我是说真的。爱可以说是不公平的，但是我觉得我是在利用他，所以也应该就此结束了。如果现在感到惭愧又有什么用呢？最后我能肯定的是，双方是没办法有好的结局。可能是我太早下的判断，但是我们也不能排除家长反对的可能性。他的妈妈比我还需要他。

这些事是不能有对或错的。所以在黑与白的交叉点，就是灰色。我想要离开他，并不是对的决定，但也不能说是错的。狗狗，想想看吧。这对我们来说是多一个负担。我好想抛开一切，什么也不管了，你可以说我是个窝囊废，我举双手赞同。对不起，我不敢说我爱你了。

One More Week

2009-05-25T15:01:00.004+01:00

This week past by so fast.. and it's really hard trying to remember what you have done when you have already forgotten what happened..

Start with 21st May..

Went to the gym and stayed for an hour or so.. Didn't really do much though.. Later at night I went over to Chinatown for a job interview.. Wanted to work as a waiter but there are no vacancies.. Hmm.. it's almost a week since I had any replies from them.. So I guess they didn't want me at all in the first place.. I don't care about my grades anymore though I just want to earn money..

22nd May

Went to collect our goodies bag at Millenia Walk for the Adidas Sundown Marathon.. Quite a big crowd when we (Ben and I) reached. After that it was lunch at Burger King and ARCADE TIME.. didn't spend much.. only 5 bucks.. just let us be kids once in a while k?

Went for a swim in the afternoon.. Then went to prep for Sharm's birthday.. still can't get her full name right it's pretty paisey.. Now in one of my unglam moments.. Nice shirt and shorts..

This is the authenic Chong family popiah.. it's nice and I love it.. haha.. better to have a little bit of food in the stomach before drinking right?

Wanted to take a picture of Zouk but it's too dark.. I like the UV lightings but the place gets a bit ugly once everyone was drunk.. You can see people puking everywhere and vulgarities replaced normal conversations.. very ugly sight.. i was pretty drunk too.. went to hug another guy and couldn't stand straight.. the birthday girl.. well.. she K.O -ed.. totally.. very unglam for her as well..

23rd May

Another bdae celebration! Had to attend a briefing for a job at Bukit View Sec.. So I was pretty late when I got to East Coast Park.. Went to eat at Sakura! haha the portions were so big.. After that we headed over to play cards at Burger King.. too bad the pics were not released yet.. They describe things far much better than I do..

24th May

Tuition and Run.. The run was scary cos Ben had a cyborg friend.. It's a compliment actually cos she's really really fast.. Ever heard of Sonic the Hedgehog? Yup.. let me introduce u to Angie the female hedgehog.. I was sweating so much my shorts were wet for the first time and she still had so much driving force in her..

25th May

Gym.. and dinner with Junxian.. Nothing much happened too.. We came across some pasar malam stalls at Batok and he wanted to try out the mini games.. In the end he gave up (Looks kinda disappointed though) and so that's all haha..

Messy Messy

2009-05-21T16:32:00.004+01:00

Decided to pack my room at 4am.. couldn't really sleep cause it was too hot and yeah.. other worries..

Threw all my stuff on my bed.. Already removed the bedsheets cause it was pretty dirty..

Filled with rubbish.. Quite unsightly..

I had this kitty bank for 2 yrs and I think he's always hungry.. When I found him yesterday he was wearing the DUST season sweater..

Coins barely reached his toes.. I mistreated and starved my cat..

I came upon this diary entries made when I was in the army.. A must-keep for me to remember the horrible days in SAF..

A $2 throwing star.. Huifen made it when we were in JC.. I still think it's an art and can't bear to use it..

Gifts from Jingying and Peggy when they went to Bangkok..

Hand-made star by Peggy.. Still keeping it cause it's kinda sweet.. I was reminiscing on the past haha..

I realised that I'm quite a shopaholic.. These GBA games.. I think they cost at least $40 each... so i wasted $200!! That's alot!

I couldn't bear to throw this box away.. But I've decided to keep my desk clean and sacrificed this damn nice pic..

Sonic The Hedgehog Gamebook!! I had it since K1.. loved the game..

Time For A Shower

2009-05-20T04:49:00.004+01:00

Woke up at 8am then snooze till 915am.. Supposed to meet Ben at 930am for gym but I was super lazy haha.. Still managed to get my lead filled body out of the bed and exercised till 11am.. Then it's shower time for my cat!!

The "I'm Not Gonna Shower" Face

The Bucket Of Doom

Suds of Despair

Brush of A Thousand Spikes

The Unwillingness

A Fight To The Death For Cat's Honor And Glory

Submission and left to dry..

Lame Family's Cosy Corner

2009-05-16T13:16:00.006+01:00

Procrastination is an evil friend, very very evil. It distracted me and stopped me from updating my blog. Well.. now hunger commands a greater control over me and so.. here I am.. Memory starts to deteriorate and I can't really remember what I did for the past few days. I thought for so long just trying to recall what happened on Monday.

Monday monday monday..

Had tuition! And it's just like that.. I think I went to the gym as well.. and of all things i went to become an action babi. I lifted weights ( light ones ) and the urge to become a hunk was so great that I went to the extent of spraining my arms. Hell that's painful and it's not recovering yet.

Some of the pictures I took at my tuition kid's place. Their dog might actually be a guy in disguise.

Tuesday!

Lame family gathering minus 2 important female leads. Huifen, Zhiai, where are you? I decided to don my most metro clothes and meet them haha. We went to "the Pasta shop" at wheelock and it's pretty ok. There weren't any people when we went in. We were sort of like "Zhao Chai Mao" cos the place was full of life moments after we placed our order.

This picture seemed abit out of place. It was just a random picture of someone ( name starting with S) showing her cleavage and Peggy just took it. I really don't know how to describe it.. Hmm.. Artistic?

It was funny actually when 3 out of 5 in the lame family were wearing stuff bought from Bangkok at THE SAME TIME! The only thing I didn't like about this gathering was the duration! Too short! Haha.. next outing please?

Bangkok Getaway

2009-05-12T16:48:00.033+01:00

We made our way to Changi Airport and alighted at the budget terminal. While queuing up to check in for the flight, it was at that point of time when I thought to myself that it was perfect for us to cast all our worries aside and enjoy ourselves in the land of a thousand smiles-Thailand.

We were almost late for the flight and we didn't realise that we were the last few to board the plane. The three of us then panicked and rushed to the plane. While running towards the plane we met a police guard. I won't mention the names but there were two girls whose hearts momentarily stopped when that cute guard reassured them to stop running and safety comes first.

Day 1

The weather's turning out fine while travelling to Bangkok..

In one of Bangkok's cab.. taxi is relatively cheap.

Grand Diamond Suites
We arrived at the hotel at noon and it wasn't that bad. The good thing was that it was located in the middle of the city with lots of shopping malls!

KFC
All of us were pretty hungry after the flight.. and the first stop is KFC! It may seem a little bit odd but the standard of KFC was better over there. Ever seen them serving chicken in plates and cutlery in Singapore?

Black Canyon Coffee
Bangkok's Black Canyon Coffee = Singapore's Starbucks.. You can find them almost everywhere and the drinks tasted almost as good as Starbucks.

Night time in Bangkok.. relatively noisy and bustling with activity..

Went to 7-11 and came upon these drinks.. We were so intrigued by the design so we decided to buy them. Packaging was interesting but the taste was far from awesome.

Patpong Night market

The gals' bargaining skills were put to the test as they pit themselves against the store owners. Jingying won 2-0 with cuff links and polo tees while Serene came to a draw. She was about to buy her cap but the police came and closed the night market.

Patpong Bar
As the saying goes. "The reason for resting is to prepare to travel for a longer journey" So we went to this bar, ordered a few drinks, rested our aching feet and was planning to hunt for better bargains later on . The waitress couldn't understand English and she mixed the order of our drinks. I got Serene's drink, Serene with Jing ying's and Jing ying's with mine..

Start of the riot

The police came and closed down the whole night market. They also started confiscating all the fake goods. All of a sudden there was this gunshot from outside and everyone screamed. The performers at the stage laughed and told everyone that it was not uncommon for such things to happen. All of us squatted down when the gun was fired and Jing ying got a large bruise because we pulled her down. In the end the people were unhappy with the cops for taking too much of their goods and a riot started. In the end they won. Needless to say we now know the capabilities of BKK police.

Patpong Cafe

After the gun shot we decided to find some place to eat and get rid of the hunger pangs. The riots continued as we were eating but we didn't really care. The food was moderate except for the prawns. After that we heard a few more gun shots but the drinks at the bar had already numbed our senses so we just continued eating.

Day 2

Another day of shopping madness began and we made our way to Bangkok's paragon.

Siam Paragon

Intuition led us to Piri Piri Chicken Restaurant. Initially i thought it was the same as the one found in Malaysia (The chicken was good) but the name was Peri Peri Chicken. So why not give it a chance?

iberry

The best way to end a full lunch was dessert! But mango sorbet was a little too sour for me to handle. Serene tried to take some pictures but she was stopped by the staff. We didn't really care much and continued to pose in front of the shop.

Mah Boon Krong

It was super warm there and by the time we reached MBK we were sweating like pigs, cute pigs.
Shopping doesn't seem as enjoyable over there because Platinum mall seemed so much better.
MBK was slightly more expensive as well.

Bangkok Mass Rapid Transit

At first we wanted to go Khao San but one taxi uncle told us that it was closed because the following day was Vesak Day and chased us out of the car. In the end it turned out that he didn't want to drive us there because there was a freaking big traffic jam. Taxi meters in Bangkok go by distance and not waiting time so they were not so willing to send us there. It's ok there's the MRT! After the train ride we took the Tutu cab to Suan Lum night bazaar.

Suan Lum Night Bazaar (Food Court)

Suan Lum is almost the same as Newton Circus Food Centre but it's must cheaper. Before purchasing any food we need to buy coupons in order to use them at the food stalls. There is also a "ge tai" at the end of the food centre and the singing was er... okay. We shared another plate of Phad Thai noodles, sausages and sambal kang kong. Not that bad haha..

Suan Lum Night Bazaar

In the midst of shopping we came across a shop that belongs to an artist. He made Doraemon looked so murderous and evil haha.. His drawings are cute and unique as well.

Suan Lum Bar

Suan Lum is a combination of Newton and Holland V. There were quite a few restaurants and pubs. We decided to go to this bar and Serene was freaked out by the black cat.

Hotel Room

Everyone's energy was sapped after a day of money spending. For no reason Serene still managed to make an effort to do her nails. The hidden power of a narcissist.

Day 3

Platinum Mall (Mister Donuts)

Serene decided to go for her massage. So Jing ying and I decided to try out their donuts.
It's quite nice but too bad that Serene had no chance to indulge in such sinful pleasures.

Platinum Mall

We decided to shop in Platinum Mall for the last time. We bought some stuff and bid farewell to this shoppers' paradise.

Chinatown

Our next stop was Chinatown. Jing ying recommended trying the bird's nest as it was nice and cheap. Cheap was enough to get us going. The fried rice was so good and it tasted better than most of the stalls in Singapore. The mutton fried noodles did not lose out to its fried rice counterpart as it had its own unique taste. The main attraction of this meal was of course the bird's nest!~~

Chinatown (Lin Zhen Xiang)

It was serendipity that brought us to this shop. Jing ying was on the verge of giving up finding this store and she was really excited when she saw it. Serene and I just watched as she activated "auntie mode" and bought alot of snacks.

Khao San

We were told to go Khao San at night but we already had plans so we decided to check it out anyway. It was a well known place for backpackers and there were alot of ang mohs over there. We walked around until evening and chilled out at one cafe. The ice cream served was melting so it was kind of disappointing.

Clubbing Silom (Preparations)

We went back to the hotel and prepared for a sleepless night. It was clubbing day for us! Dressing up for clubbing was fun and the anticipation of getting high over at the dance floor was too much for me to bear.

Silom (Derby King)

This cafe was located right beside the pasar malam at Patpong. We ordered 2 plates of beef guo tiao and 1 plate of chicken guo tiao. The waiter was confused when our dishes arrived and he took a fork and dug out the meat to check if it was chicken or beef.

Silom (D.J Station)

My friend brought us over to this club and entrance fee was only 200 baht. (~S$9) It was a gay club but the gals met some weird old man staring at them. Maybe he was only drunk but he went away after the gals dragged me and used me as a shield. Music was nice and loud but we didn't stay for long. We went to the bar right beside the club, sat down, ordered our drinks and chat.

Grand Diamond Suites (4am)

After clubbing it was really hard to sleep and the 3 of us were super hungry. Room service was available 24 hrs and we ordered a lot! Pigging out was really fun for me, and i could say the same for them.

Day 4 (Last Day)

Grand Diamond Suite

After that heavy supper it was already close to 5am and we had to check out by noon. Not enough sleep but I guess the last day of shopping was good motivation. The mess we created was revenge for waking us up at 9am.

Siam Square

Last stop for the day and attempts were made to shop for clothes but it was futile for me. The gals managed to grab some stuff but they still don't think it was enough.

Siam Square (Hong Kong Cafe)

Decided to try out the dim sum so we ordered some. Maybe because the tiredness is growing inside me and the food didn't appeal to me. I felt that the milk tea was too sweet so i ended up drinking Jing ying's mango shake.

Back At Siam Square

We continued shopping and Serene came across a feather duster and decided to do some pose. The lady boss was staring at us in one corner, maybe she thought that we were going to steal it.

Siam Square (Milk Plus)

Last dessert shop of the day. Serene didn't like her blueberry blended. Jing ying and I were okay with ours. The Pokki sticks lookalike were too sweet for our taste so we didn't finish all.

Airport

We went back to the hotel to collect our luggage and took the cab to the airport. I had mixed feelings when it all came to an end. The fun we had

1) Serene's unique way of brushing her teeth and telling lame jokes.
2) Bitching and gossiping about stuff in the middle of the night.
3) No obligations to do anything except stuff that we like.
4) Admiring the spoils obtained in the battles of shopping.

And the ones that we love and miss in Singapore. The friends, family and close ones.

Maybe it's only me. But i enjoyed the trip and I don't mind coming back again.

FIN

Updates!

2009-02-19T17:22:00.012Z

Been awhile since I'm here.. shall not procrastinate.. what happened over two months?? seriously.. i have no idea.. i only know that school started and well.. that's all.. school till now..

it may seem kinda boring but i think time passed by too fast this time round.. really.. and i got a Wii this time.. still owe money haven't pay back leh.. it's ok i shall save up slowly..

First of all.. we went to celebrate Ryan's birthday.. initially wanted to go The Soup Spoon at Paragon but the waiter there refused to help us reserve seats.. so.. we went to Fish & Co, which was just beside it.. ha.. less money for Soup Spoon lor..

Secondly.. it was CNY.. was really busy that time.. house cleaning ah.. buying new year goodies ah.. the busiest day of all was new year day itself.. first.. we...

had to prepare food.. lots of food.. cos relatives come to our house every year.

we took pictures with our cousins.. and gossip about other ppl.. the fun part is the gossiping i guess. ang baos are secondary.. being able to do some catching up is actually better.

then me and sis go around "bai nian-ing".. this one was taken in aunt's car.. this is the kind of stuff we cam whores do-take random pictures!

I tried to draw some pictures yesterday but got criticized.. no worries i shall continue to improve on it! these what i had drawn yesterday..

and i got Ayumi's latest single! song not really that fantastic but i'm still her fan ha..

2008-12-16T15:41:00.003Z

I passed my Evaluation test last week! hahax.. so have to get ready for BTT on jan.. went out today and had a big feast.. first stop Mushroom Pot.

we had mushroom buffet (got abit of meat) and then we went to some malay stall at Bukit Timah and had prata..

then dessert at Island Creamery!!

very very full.. went to toilet and stayed for a long long time..

2008-12-08T14:45:00.006Z

after work at expo today, went over to Borders Book Fair and bought this book haha..

it's $2 and kinda interesting.. i can't find a book on cats that seems interesting.. well.. next time then..

after that i went over to a fren's place to collect her hard disk.. i kinda got lost cos i overshot one stop.. u know where this is?

it's at katong!!! hahax.. the street lights are kinda nice and misty..

2008-12-06T14:30:00.003Z

went to expo and work.. went back home at 7pm.. super crowded train ride!!

CROWDED!!!

then i saw one indian couple.. (not meant to be racist) on the verge of making out.. they shared a long passionate kiss in the train haha.. super disgusting.. maybe they are scared kissing elsewhere will get caught by their mother.. so kiss in crowded train lor.. all the bypassers see le also cannot tahan..

Went for a haircut today!!! hahax.. let's see before and after pics..

BEFORE.. VERY SHAGGED FACE..

AFTER.. MORE RADIANT HAHAHA

BTT

2008-12-02T16:01:00.002Z

i managed to book for my basic theory evalution and test.. 11 Dec 08 and 17 Jan 09 respectively.. kinda excited though.. and i hope that i dun fail.. means time to study for it!

Vouloir, c'est pouvoir

2008-12-01T15:39:00.007Z

"Vouloir, c'est pouvoir" that's french for "where there's a will there's a way".. so long since i've updated my blog.. maybe i'm too busy.. or maybe i find it a hassle to maintain it. doesn't matter though cos i have put my mind to it and i shall persevere.

it has been a long semester for me.. and i didn't know what actually happened during those days except.. well.. night falls and day rises- a vicious cycle. very, very vicious. how cruel can time be? well.. exams came before i had the chance to prepare ha..

so now it's the holidays for me.. and i'm so desperate to make money.. i'll sell my butt when circumstances do allow such acts and the government is blind.. so much to pay for! bills, internet, insurance, overseas trips.. these piled onto me and weighed me down, almost crushing me.. i shall relate to one incident that happened last week..

Lili (NTU buddy) : hey kangtai joining us go down orchard after the last days of exams?
Me : er i don't think i'll be going.. i've got facial afterwards.
Lili: wat?! u purposely arrange it on that day cos u dun wanna c someone rite?
Me: not really.. partially.. er ha.. i've really got facial and i can't attend it.. i try to meet u guys after tat..

After the facial

Lili: are u comin?
Me: (after giving alot of excuses) can i say the truth? i spent my money on facial and i can't meet u guys cos i dun have much money le..

u see? the horrors of not having enough money.. i kinda regretted when i cancelled all my tuition and cut off my main source of income.. now wat i have to do is to earn back money.. i'm currently doing invigilating for ACCA.. 40 bucks per session so i tink it's kinda ok.. i got 3 tuitions this month and i plan to save up as much money as possible.. it's so so hard.. today i stood for 7 hours doing invigilation.. when i walked back my legs were so numb i can't feel anything when they were moving.. so day 1 : 40 bucks earn.. $960 more to go..

i made a bet with junxian.. each of us have to save up a certain target asap.. 1000 for me, 1500 for him.. loser gets punished and each of us have thought of cruel ways to torture each other. kinda sadist but i tink it's slightly motivating. i'm resumin my car lessons this month so i expect to get the license next year.

time to come up with new year resolutions! doesn't really work for me but it's a guideline. i dunno whether it's possible or impossible for me.

1) undergo a 16 week training program and look like him. (i shall gym and swim on alternate days starting today Dec 1)

2) earn enough money.. 1000 is not alot right?

3) get my license by next year.

i'll try to make it happen.. Vouloir, c'est pouvoir.

Kanerlogy

2008-09-17T15:07:00.002+01:00

really busy with work.. ha.. playtime reduced by alot.. i will continue updating my blog when i'm free.. meanwhile..

Back To School

2008-08-04T17:15:00.002+01:00

Last sat had an impromptu gathering at IMM and celebrated a gay couple's birthday.. it was pretty sweet and they even held hands while cutting the hair.. well.. actually we forced them to become gay.. ha.. and we insisted that they sit together and pose for the camera while we tease them.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINGGANG AND WEEMENG.. Minggang don't worry.. although u are a big retard who always wanna argue with me.. I'll let it be cause it's ur birthday.. once it's over i'll kick ur balls cause you are so rude to us.. =) Today is kinda fun as well.. NTU gang and me went over to SHOKUDO, a japanese MARCHE type restaurant and the food's not bad except for the beef.. too much fats and too chewy.. and my friend.. she baked 21 cupcakes for the birthday girl and designed each and every one.. very very sweet.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SURI!!

And.. it's school day again! kinda happy yet sad.. so much to do again..

2008-07-26T18:13:00.003+01:00

我应该学怎么用华语打字了。
那么迟还睡不着，也不知道为了什么，突然间变emo。。

我有些后悔读大学了，这真的是我要的吗？

今天我约了朋友们去吃饭，最后知道有位朋友决定不想读了，因为家里发生了事。

她。。。找到了一份工。

我开始问了自己一些问题。。。

你好，你叫什么名？
钟康泰

今年几岁了？
二十一岁，到了十月份就二十二了。

你喜欢做什么？
以前吗？

以前和现在有不同吗？
有。

那你以前喜欢做什么？
我很喜欢画画，唱歌。我也喜欢演习。

演戏？那。。你演得好吗？
我也不知道。以前小五我演过小红帽里的大坏狼，虽然那时没得到奖，但是能够完全变成另外一个人物觉得很开心。
中三时我演过Julius Caesar，得了亚军。中四演了Science Project，其实也只是因为我们的Science Project与其他班的presentation与众不同，所以得了冠军。

运动呢？
小四的时候喜欢游泳。我不会打篮球，也不会踢珠球。
小的时候我的姑姑有教我打乒乓，但最后还是没学了。
中学时期，我也和我的朋友一起打羽毛球。
我的体力很差，因为不常做运动的关系。

那现在你喜欢做什么呢？
我不知道。应该是赚钱吧。我觉得有钱能够买到你要的东西，人们说钱不重要是骗人的。
学费，车费，和朋友出门聊天吃东西，买衣服，等等。想要打扮自己也需要钱啊。

你不觉得你太虚伪了吗？
可能吧。是被这个社会影响的吧。好看难看由不得你来决定，而是社会做裁判。

你不觉得当你自己最好吗？你为什么要在乎别人的眼光?
我还是我自己啊。打扮是为了给自己多点自信。如果人家夸你变帅了，或变美了，还是说你开始跟上了潮流。你不会开心吗？还是你比较喜欢人家在你背后嘲笑着你。

你相信你有魅力吗？
没有。小时候我也不懂怎么与同学们沟通，打成一片。以前教过的朋友，似乎都没联络了。
以前我的家人对我非常严格，放学后得直接回家，不能出去玩，不然家人就开始打给学校投诉了。不能和朋友在一起，我也非常难过。现在虽然稍微有些自由了，但也没有花很多时间交新的朋友。我也不在乎，好朋友就够了，不需要多朋友。

你喜欢读大学吗？
一半一半吧。当亲戚朋友知道我在读大学时，会令我家人感到骄傲。
亲戚们一直都会在一旁说自己的子女有多好，家人就会自然而然帮我们定下目标。
“以后你不成才你就得吃草了。不要做个没出息的人。你得发奋图强。”我听这句话有十多年了。我知道能够读完大学是件好事。我不知道的是我以后读完后要当什么。

那你有什么打算？
我很想走一步算一步。我想过当艺人，因为能够受到人们的崇拜，但是当艺人不是件容易事。
1。你必须长得好看。
2。你要有些才艺。（能唱，能跳，能演，能够拍导演的马屁）

我也想过离开新加坡，去其他的国家，我不明白为什么那么多外国人想来这里。

工作环境？也不是那么好，顾客越来越没礼貌，工作人员的态度也是半斤八两。
学习环境？好虽好，但有了外国的竞争对手，新加坡人很难维持下去。
家人？我不想对不起他们。我爱他们。但是他们不了解我。我也没怪他们。

你有崇拜的对象吗？
有。王力宏。因为他能唱，很有音乐天份，而且他也不在乎别人对他的眼光。

你又怎么知道他也不在乎别人对他的眼光？
有人胡说八道，说他是gay,他也不当成一回事。他只想写他的词，唱他的歌。我觉得这样的人非常有性格，值得敬佩。

那你能够以他做榜样吗？
我一直想学弹钢琴，吹笛子，吹口提琴，打鼓。。。最后没件事弄得好。我凡事都三分钟热度。

那最近你否在做什么？
玩Maple Story,打电动。

不觉得浪费时间？
不会。因为我觉得做起他的事也没意义。反正都要开学了，到时再努力些吧。

那。。。你有心上人吗？
有。但是不是人。

是谁？
一只狗。

喜欢那只狗吗？
不知道。

为什么？
那只狗太忠实了。那么多年来我一直一个人过。突然有只狗在我身旁陪伴着我，又那么忠厚老实。我有压力。

什么压力？
怕我对那只狗不够好。

那你对那只狗好不好？
不好。因为那只狗看起来不开心。我不知道要不要帮那只狗找个新的主人。与其让它和我一起受苦，不如帮它找个更会珍惜它的主人。

2008-07-20T15:08:00.002+01:00

Yesterday.. was a very last minute dinner and i was kinda happy i was able to attend it. Since when did we really sit down and eat and talk about the past? I met up with yixian and minggang, the 3 of us went to zeng fu cai and ate.. haha.. don't really know what to say.. it's really nice..

2008-07-16T17:49:00.002+01:00

I came across a Youtube cosplay video which I have to post.. The cosplay is so real.. aha.. cos Rikku is my fan..

2008-07-16T13:28:00.003+01:00

Well.. the motivation came and went, faster than the blink of an eye, worse than a white lie no matter how innocent it may sound. Ha yeah I missed my gym session again.
Today I wasn't slacking at home either, cos I went over to Lianhua and did my alumni stuff. Didn't discuss much though but it's a headstart. I'm in the midst of collecting the ultimate oldies songlist and I (both legal and illegal =) ) collected songs.
Am i old? I'm only 22 years old.. and my sister was so excited when she saw a strand of white hair growing out of my head. "Oh my god kor kor you have white hair?!" I think that strand of white hair was weeping so hysterically cos it stayed on my head for less than 10mins after being discovered by my sis.
I sleep late and wake up late so often nowadays I can't keep track of the days. But staying at home is really fun cos I always enjoy the friendly arguments I had with my aunt.

Case 1:
Kangtai: Errr.. gu ah (aunt ah..).. tomorrow i'm going out with caimei from 12 to 4.
Aunty: Why?
Kangtai: Haha nothing lah just tell you first.. we are going out for something.
Aunty: (Stony glare) Going to buy stuff again ah? Always spend money hor?
Kangtai: (Paisey expression)No lah ha..
Aunty: Then? Buy bag? Buy clothes?
Kangtai: Ha no lah.. I don't want to tell you.. Tomorrow you can see what we have done.. If I tell you now you will be angry.
Aunty: Facial ah?
(JACKPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Kangtai: hahahaha.. er..
Aunty: You everytime sleep so late, Caimei everytime eat peanuts.. Never take care of your faces! Do facial pimples will always come back one.. waste money.

Moral of the story: You don't have to explain to your aunt, she'll know.
My aunt has learnt to predict and her prediction skills are super good.. You can always tell a lie but she will guess everything correctly.

Case 2:
I like to binge on junk food, and inevitable cause trouble for my aunt.

Kangtai: (Eating non stop and watching shows on the com)
Aunty: What are you eating?
Kangtai: Huh? Oh.. Something like Kacang Puteh.. You want?
Aunty: (Pondered slightly) Ok lah abit.. I don't want too much.
Kangtai: Orh.

10 mins later

Kangtai: (Still eating non stop and watching shows on the com)
Kangtai: Aunty ah..
Aunty: What?
Kangtai: You still want?
Aunty: Don't want.. Later i sore throat..
Kangtai: Aiyah take lah. (Go over to her side and push the snacks to her)
Aunty: (Stony glare again) You ah.. give me eat give me eat.. later i sick how? ok lah gimme.. ok.. enough..

Adopting A New Style

2008-07-14T17:57:00.005+01:00

I decided to stop with the procrastination.

I woke up and looked the clock, hmm.. almost 1am..

Maintaining a blog wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, isn't it just about telling everyone briefly what you did and how you feel. I thought it would be a hassle to pen down my thoughts to the exact minute details and rather just let the pictures do the talking. Pictures say a thousand words right?

Anyway, who would spend so much time reading through so much words? I only do so selectively to other people's blogs ha. So why am i spending the time typing now?

Well.. Pretty much until my dad borrowed my digicam and Mr Lai Tsuen Yung kept forgetting to post the pictures to me.

SO.. .. .. now i have to make do with words and use it to replace my pictures. I planned on uploading 10 pictures.. damn.. 10000 freaking words..

I went out a lot recently- Bukit Panjang Gatherings, Pioneer Gatherings, My ACCA RELC gatherings, NTU gatherings, ARMY gatherings, me and sis team gatherings, me and Junxian team gatherings until my pockets felt kinda numb and my secret money stash was diminishing.

I've watched shows that I'm proud of (Ten Promises I Made To Dog, KungFu Panda), disgusted with (You Don't Mess With The Zohan), bored of (Hancock).

I've eaten at places i couldn't really remember when it happened.. which includes 2 steamboats, 1 Seoul garden, 1 late night supper/pub session when I got super drunk, 1 Geylang supper tour and a couple of hawker centres/ food courts excursions.

Now it's just kinda boring though, living life like a nerd cause if I'm not out there to accompany my 知己们, I would be staying at home playing Fallout, Fallout 2, Fable, Warcraft and Worms 4: Mayhem. I lost the interest to Mapling (but I guess it's only temporary) and the will to exercise. I've planned schedules that I couldn't keep up with and now I'm just going through a 走一步算一步 process.

I'm not sad though, just felt so bored.. so lazy and so "fat". I haven't gained a single kg, but the "fat" feeling is kind of like- the "oh damn another day to laze at home" and the "is lunch ready? i just wanna eat and go back to my game". I'm more than just a couch potato.. I'm the couch itself.

Junxian had measles recently and yeah.. haven't really got the chance to visit him. I called him though and he said he was fine except for his inconsistent fever relapses, which got him into thinking that he had dengue fever. Lucky thing it was just measles.. but I haven't had it yet so I'm not too sure how it felt.. must have been terrible. He told me he felt useless at home because he couldn't do anything and he has got so much to do. I was so 自卑. I wonder if I ever felt useless when I'm at home the whole day.

Tomorrow's a brand new day again. Damn.. another day to laze at home. Should I get myself to walk over to Gombak Stadium and work out? I don't know.. maybe if someone or something motivates me. Everyday seems like deja vu to me if I do the same thing over and over again.. Wake up, Play, Eat, Play, Watch Tv, Play, Sleep.. Gonna snap back to reality and do some checks! OK!! Exercise tomorrow!! Ha.. that's kinda sudden.. The motivation came back.. hmm.. maybe after I go to Mac with my sis for a quick lunch first. Nar I can't type 10000 words. My fingers will break.

BBQ, CHALET, BACHELORS PARTY

2008-06-30T13:44:00.002+01:00

Went for CO chalet.. How long was it since I last saw them? hahax.. 4 to 7 years?

Everyone's so familiar yet so.. grown up.. Hahax..

It has been awhile since we managed to talk crap and lame about..

Although it didn't go perfectly well.. It was good to know that everyone's doing well..

This Guy Is Good

2008-06-27T19:49:00.001+01:00

Nothing Much.. ZZZZ

2008-06-25T16:09:00.002+01:00

Went to watch "Get Smart" yesterday hahax.. it was kinda funny hahax.. Anne Hathaway is a pretty great actress hahax.. Love her..

Planning to watch this show.. Hahax..

2008-06-22T10:26:00.002+01:00

Hahax I think it's pretty cute.. Boa's singing for this movie's theme yeah.. so that particular Boa fan can go take a look..

Bdae Celebrations x 2

2008-06-21T11:36:00.007+01:00

Went to celebrate Ben's bdae on the 17th.. so we went to Cineleisure's BBQ chicken and ate.. hahax.. it tasted like KFC except for the unique ginseng taste.. ha.. abit overpriced I think..

I ordered this.. It's something like a 2 piece chicken meal.. but $11.90..

Afterwards we went shopping for Ben's gift.. with him around.. hahax..

Then they went to K-box for a little sing-along session.. while I went over to meet Lili and the rest for a show.. We watched "The Happening".. er.. not so nice.. abit waste money..

After the show we went to Wisma's Starbucks chilled out.. hahax..

Bones Aching..

2008-06-17T03:30:00.003+01:00

Back from ICT.. damn.. hahax.. it was the week i used "Ni Nar Beh" and "Fuck" most of the time.. now it's back to my civilian conversion course haha..

everything ended last sat..

and i was busy cleanin my army stuff (SBO, field pack), everything is so fucking dirty..

i used a pail of clean water to clean my stuff..

and it became this...

Green Day

2008-06-08T23:02:00.002+01:00

By the time I was ready it's almost 6..

Can't even smile right..

Today is the day I start work! Woke up at 5.30am.. had a bad dream.. getting ready for some jungle action!

Back To Army Daze

2008-06-08T11:40:00.007+01:00

Tmr's the day!!! Going back to camp for 5 days.. and i'm not really confident tat i will pass my IPPT.. damn.. anyway i was doing invigilating for the past five days starting last mon.. kinda fun though cos we celebrated Zhong Yi's bdae and i've got cake to eat..

and I don't really think I want to eat at ACJC's cafe ever again.. everything is so pricey and the meal's not even nice.. First of all, their waffle looks so plastic, and it cost $2.50. add one scoop of ice cream cost $3.50, 2 scoops cost $4.50..

Then their chicken burger cost $2.50, with fries it's $3.50, their fries are all half cooked as well.. look at the size of the chicken patty.. sick right?

the bak kut teh's not bad i heard.. haha.. well better than being plastic.. my friend ate it up and didn't suffer from any side effects.

then one of the candidate left her mickey mouse sweater behind, to our horror we saw this..

the one circle in red is actually yellow and in color.. and it's in the armpit region.. ugh..

Yesterday, me and junxian went to eat at one of Geylang's famous dim sum.. since it was our first time there we ordered 6 dishes,

one yam and meat kou rou..

one xiao long bao,

one hongkong char siew bao,

one curry chicken chee cheong fan,

one korean kim chi wrapped in thin meat

one fried tofu covered with salad sauce

and it costed super ex again.. take a look for urself.. only the sauce taste nice..

we ended up feeling up hungry again and went to yong he and eat..

5 Days Of Expo, 5 Days Of Fun

2008-05-28T04:07:00.010+01:00

It started off with a quiet day, everyone's still packing stuff, getting ready..

Then it started.. The place was super packed..

It was only 5 days but I made lots of friends, young ones, old ones, ham sap ones.. Despite the sore throats, aching feet it's still a nice experience.

All In A Day's Work

2008-05-20T02:07:00.001+01:00

Ha! So busy yet so free.. I don't even know what I'm saying. Working at Sheng Siong was kinda fun, although I have to stand 8 hours straight (I skipped one hour of break cos I wanna leave early) there were a few eye candies to perk me up ho ho.. Well, gotta get back to the gym rountine le hahax.. lost weight again.. damn.

=)

2008-05-13T13:21:00.003+01:00

AND YEAH, MY SIS GOT 82/100 FOR HER MATH. WANTED ME TO BRAG BOUT IT. SO HERE IT IS.

Maid escaped from Guantanamo Bay

2008-05-13T13:03:00.003+01:00

My maid left suddenly.

Left me to hang all the clothes and wash the dishes.

Reasons for leaving?

She didn't say much.

Hahax.. what's the world coming to?

Are maids coming here to work or find husbands?

This maid (the second one we had when the first left after completing her 2 year contract) was very ham sap (Hokkien) and attracted the wrong type of guys. Now the whole family knows that she was flirting with this Blangadesh and she was too ashamed to stay. So, she insisted on leaving. We wanted her to stay until the next maid arrives but she refused. So now no maid to take care of grandma and we have to do the jobs ourselves again.

What happened to me from 9th may to 11th may

2008-05-11T16:19:00.008+01:00

Dear diary,

This is your cute kangtai signing in again. Sorry for neglecting you for the past few days cause I was really busy.. .. .. HAVING FUN!!!

9th May

I went out with Huifen for a steamboat (supposedly Chong Qing Steamboat but ended up elsewhere) and the soup was damn spicy!!! I think I paid my hard earned money to drink some chestnut drink instead of eating. After that the both of us went window shopping, and rule #1 - Don't shop with someone who's always hesitating. (Huifen, yah, that's you) We went to catch a movie "What happens in Vegas". Kinda funny though but with a "Just Married" kinda concept.

Went to play an arcade game called "Ghost Maniac", just go to Bugis's arcade and you'll know how crazy it is. And yeah, we met Peggy (NO PEGGY WE ARE NO PAR TOR-ING).

10th May

Early in the morning i was giving tuition, and I was super happy cause my kid had 86/100 for his mid year assessment book paper, then.. he told me he had 33/100 for his mid year. I think I heard my iron rice bowl cracked.. his parents is gonna find a new tuition teacher..

In the afternoon, went over to XiaoFeng's house and did my usual maid routine.. sigh i hate that bird that kept dirtying the window.

Then.. at night I went kai kai with Junxian and went to Parkway Parade. hahax.. I don't know why but I liked Ajisen's Nankotsu Ramen (Pork Ribs Ramen), on top on that i ordered some mayonnaise prawns.. their mayonnaise tasted funny.. really.

We ordered 2 drinks from some unknown cafe as Junxian said he could redeem some free ones and they are really bad!!! I think one of them is called "Diabetes" and the other's named "Bland".

Today! 11th May

I met Suri for a short briefing. I found a job as a sales promoter at Sheng Siong supermarket selling coffee!!! It's temporary though, as long as there's money. =)

And Junxian's mom was performing sign language at NUS, it is supposed to let us learn more about the values of buddhism but it just couldn't get across my thick head.. it was a 70min + musical and it was really interesting.

Then we went to Holland V and ate at their infamous Nasi Lemak store.. hmm.. so-so only.. but the rice was nice.. At night met Kyochun (A Monster Hunter buddy) and his friends (Monster Hunter friends as well) for a group PSP fight.. the only thing was.. my PSP died on me.. so I stoned while they were still having fun..

Slack slack slack

2008-05-06T03:49:00.002+01:00

Went to watch Nim's Island the day before at Shaw Tower, wasn't very good though.. then had dinner at a Billy Bombers kind of restaurant.
Yesterday.. well.. went gym alone without ben haa.. kinda sian no one to talk to. then went to this new shopping mall beside the national stadium, forgot the name haha.. but it's super deserted, more of like a shopping mall for zombies.

Unpublished Final Episode For Doraemon..

2008-05-01T16:19:00.006+01:00

Gist of the story..

doraemon's battery dried up and there wasn't any way to repair him cos of the complex technology that was used to create him..

nobita has two choices- to forcefully change the battery and lost all of doraemon's memories, or wait till there is a solution.

Nobita doesn't want the precious memories to be deleted. So he became very determined and studied hard to find a solution to replace doraemon's batteries. Finally, 35 years later, he grew up, married his childhood sweetheart and found a way to restore doraemon's memories..

Chemistry

2008-04-28T10:42:00.004+01:00

Had chemistry today.. died le.. so many reagents to remember.. hahax..

this was my answer for one of the question..

.. .. ..

2008-04-09T17:02:00.000+01:00

exams!!!!

Anatomy fun

2008-04-01T15:36:00.003+01:00

was doing anatomy yesterday..

i had fun dancin with missus skeleton..

Secondary School Fav Songs

2008-03-30T16:33:00.002+01:00

Kinda stressed up with work hahax.. so i started listening to the songs i liked when i was in sec school..

好感覺 - 戴佩妮

一个人的精彩 -萧亚轩

True true - Jade

Weird Day

2008-03-26T12:47:00.006Z

Today me and ben went to the swimming pool after a gym session.

And we were stalked by a weird uncle. Well, I define someone who's weird when
- he's staring at people who are sun tanning.
- he doesn't close the door when he's showering in the cubicle
- even when he left the door open he faces the person and shower and smile.

Hmm.. that weird uncle did that when me and ben were ard.. kinda scary.. if flattery comes in this form i'ld rather take insults.

afterwards i had to take 187 to boon lay.. during the entire bus ride there was this emotional girl who sang super loud to herself.. it went pretty much out of tune and everyone was staring at her.. some of the students were laughing to themselves.. but i guess she enjoyed singing, either that or she's unsound.

this was the song that she sang..

pretty emo huh?

then me and junxian went to watch semi pro..

super no brainer show.. really.. if u want to watch it u'll regret.. i did..

after that.. went to the Guardian Store at my place planning to buy something.

this dumb Indian lady blocked the way and refused to move an inch even when i said "excuse me" then that lady had this young boy blocking the exit again while i was making my way out.. sigh.. this time round that tiny brat stepped on my foot.. imagine school shoes on slippers.. and try to feel the pain..

Exams!!!

2008-03-21T01:55:00.001Z

Anatomy
Chemistry
Physics
Maths
Material Science
Jap
So much to study ah...

I Loved It When I Was A Kid

2008-03-16T16:15:00.000Z

Funny Animals

2008-03-15T07:45:00.000Z

Dancing Cat

Farting Squirrel

Fairy Tale Part 2

2008-03-08T08:50:00.003Z

Kathy was making the long journey back home, carrying the bulky load across her shoulders and grumbling. "If it weren't for that person on the horse I might have more food for the family. I should have just grabbed it and run away."
Dragging her feet across the sandy path, Kathy started humming a tune that her mum sang. She couldn't remember most of the words, so she added in her own words as and when she felt like it. Just when she was starting with the first note, she hear a voice calling from behind. Turning around, she saw a man on a horse approaching her.

"Wait don't go!!"

Oh my god.. he's going to lock me in the dungeons for taking what's not mine.

"Stop!!"

Oh no!!! He is on a horse while I am struggling with this damn load. Should I just
throw it away and run?

"Didn't I ask you to stop?"

Where can I hide? Where can I hide?

"Hey.. This is for.."

Kathy's thoughts were interrupted by a voice which, all of a sudden, became so close and clear. Turning her head towards the voice, she saw that the man had already dismounted from the horse and was walking beside her.

"Argh! You.. Argh!!" Kathy spluttered and without thinking, swung the load towards the man. In times of shock or distress Kathy's strength could actually increase exponentionally. The man said no more and fell like a bag of sand, the rations on his hand dropped neatly at Kathy's feet.

"Huh? Did this guy come just to pass me the rations? Did I kil him with a bag of cloth?" Kathy stared at the rations like a cat observing its prey. For a moment she could not think of any suitable reason to justify her actions just now, but she did know that the man was still stacked underneath the big bag. She lifted the bag to check for any signs of murder, and as she inched closer to look at the man's face, he opened his eyes and let out a gasp. "What the hell happened?!" That very moment Artoria regained his senses, he jumped up with a start and felt a sharp pain on his forehead. When he looked around he saw a lady lying down unconscious with a bleeding nose. (To be continued..)

What Hurts The Most- Original Version by Rascal Flatts

2008-03-07T04:06:00.002Z

This is slower and kinder nice. Personally i prefer this than the techno version.

Mama

2008-03-04T16:02:00.003Z

As we grow older we become more mature.. Ha..
"Mama" By Puppy

She doesn't play mahjong and go shopping like a tai tai.
She could, but she didn't.

She always used ME as an excuse for not going dinners with her friends.

She always said "sorry, i can't go. Because i have to take care of my child, even thought everyone know I am 19 already! "

She doesn't initiate to call or contact her friends unless necessary, and she never writes back to her friends' greeting cards.

The worst thing is that, she complains to me she doesn't have a friend!

"Can i go oversea alone or with my friends?" i asked.
"No" she answered.

"Can i stay overnight at my friend's house?" i asked
"No" she asnwered.

"Can i watch a mid night movie?" i asked
"No" she asnwered.

"Can i dye hair?" i asked
"No" she answered.

"Can i...." i asked
"No.... no.... and No...." she answered.

Too many choices in my life.
Are made by her.
I am 19.
And i am going to a university.

I am doing good.
I have a good mother.

Once, I asked her : "when will u let me do what i want, choose what i like"
She said : "soon... soon... "I

belive ten years down the road, or maybe 20, 30 ... years later
Her answer is still : "soon... soon..."

I asked her again : "when will you feel comfortable to let me be independent"
She said : ".... "
I asked : "why?"
She said : "Because i have nothing but you now, and i can't afford to lose you."

That's the ultimate powerful sentence in the world.
And i know i have to take that.
My lips sealed, and i know i can't blame her for that.
Now is 12:32AM, she is shouting from her bedroom to ask me to sleep.
Fine! I wonder does it occur to her that i have no school tmr and currently i am having a long holiday.
Mother's day is coming. I know I love her as much as I do belive. seriously, I do love her.
But, some how, i dun feel like i am being myself. oh well~ HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Fairy Tale

2008-03-03T15:23:00.003Z

Once upon a time there lived a young girl by the name of Kathy. Kathy's parents were farmers, and Kathy's mum died after giving birth to her baby brother. Her father, overwhelmed by the lost of his loved one, turned to alcohol for consolation and started to neglect the family. Luckily for Kathy and her brother, there were her relatives who could take care of her.

Kathy grew up to be a fine yet ordinary woman, helping out with the chores in the house. 19 years passed in the blink of an eye and Kathy had always wanted something special to happen to her. "I wouldn't want to spend my entire life tilting soil and reaping crops, I want to be like a princess and live my life with no worries at all." Day and night she hoped for a prince to sweep her off her feet and carry her to the land of happiness, yet every morning she woke up to find herself wearing the same rags she had worn for 20 years.

Prince Artoria's father, the king, passed away a year before he was 20. The queen was preparing him to take over the king's throne and learn to follow his father's footsteps. "A strong and just ruler is not born overnight" She told her son, holding his hands and touching his face. "It comes from here.." placing her palm over his chest "and here." kissed Artoria's forehead. Prince Artoria knew that his mother had faith in him and responsibilities would start to amount. Invitations from princes of other kingdom to their ballroom parties were of little interest to him. Princesses who had visited the queen and looked away shyly from him, hoping that he would take a look at them, but went home disappointed. "This is not what I have in mind.." Artoria thought.

Kathy stood at the side of the freshly tilted land, her hand on her hip, wearing her straw hat at an angle to fend off the sun and wiping the sweat with her sleeve. Another day of hard work, another day of the blistering sun. All she had to do now was to head for the next village and bring back the cloth that her aunt had send over to dye.

Prince Artoria wanted his mother to be happy. He had ordered his men to follow him to the village next to the castle to know how well the villagers were coping with the drought. The villagers had no fertile land to work with, and their main source of income came from producing dye and selling dyed materials. Artoria surveyed the crowd and saw that everyone was content despite the poverty that was consistently living off them. He was done with the questions, after distributing the rations to the villagers he would head back home.

How Artoria and Kathy managed to meet was an act of serendipity. A knight on a silver armoured horse wearing a blue vest, a maiden with a straw hat carrying a bag of orange dyed cloth. Their eyes met but words were not exchanged. Kathy was queuing up to get the free rations and upon seeing the prince, left hastily (partially out of fear that she was not from the village, partially embarassed by her own actions). (To be continued..)

Pak Toh Session

2008-03-02T11:49:00.005Z

Went to the science with my friend.. didn't bring my cam.. kinda wasted cos there were so many interesting things going on..

I was scolding my tuition kid earlier this morning.. and confiscated his marble.. ANGER..

After that i went to sell my psp games.. ha.. sad but no choice..

Alot of photos part 3

2008-03-01T14:18:00.003Z

YX bdae.. picture paints a thousand words.. no need for me to say anything.

Alot of photos part 2

2008-03-01T14:02:00.005Z

Celebrating YX's bdae.. went to kbox and sang until no voice..

Woke up at 530am and wanted to meet my fren, budden accidents do happened and i was left alone.. so i went to explore..

still early when i left house..

have u ever seen bugis that empty?

vivocity was super deserted as well.. in the end went to starbucks and studied for my jap..

after that fren called me and said bdae celebration at jurong east.. so travel back there from vivo..

Alot of photos Part 1

2008-03-01T13:51:00.003Z

Went for a small PJ gathering and went to HK cafe.. ha..

left to right: nice lookin' food, mr "tau", ym and me

left to right: za and qg, ym and jy, kt and za

left to right: jy and kt, extreme left tat guy aka psp freak hoho..

Latest News

2008-02-28T03:23:00.002Z

JI leader Mas Selamat Kastari was Singapore's most wanted man, and was behind a plot to crash a hijacked plane into Changi Airport.

He escaped at 4.05pm yesterday.
He is not known to be armed.
It said Mas Selamat walks with a limp.

If you know where he is, call 999.

Showtime

2008-02-27T11:44:00.002Z

Went to watch Meet the spartans.. er.. sense of humour was getting bad to worst since scary movie 1-4..

Saddened!!!

2008-02-25T17:07:00.001Z

I changed alot in just a year.. sigh.. this was taken last yr de.. now i grow so thin le.. gain mass!!!! no more psp le!

Birthday

2008-02-24T15:24:00.004Z

A fun filled day, a sweet starry night

The warmth from friends turned darkness into light

Immensing ourselves into the songs and laughter

While watching Rain and singing with Madonna

Friendship is nurtured just like wine

The better it tastes with age when it sublimes

Another chapter in our books it shall form

Memories preserved and carried along

Manga Fever

2008-02-23T14:02:00.002Z

Just finished reading Fairy Tail.. haha.. drawings' like One Piece and Rave..

it's pretty interesting.. stupid sister claim that it's hentai.. -_-

Stand By Me

2008-02-22T04:15:00.001Z

So many things to do yet i can't do anything.

My soul starts to cry and my mind starts to sing.

The song woke me up and i opened my eyes.

Then i saw the work, piled up, undone, lifelessly it lies.

MOJA

2008-02-21T15:48:00.004Z

i wanted an online music for my blog.. i was thinkin of techno and stuff..
but all of a sudden i thought about.. MOJACKO!!

Title: If My Lover Was An Alien
Vocal: Junko Iwao

M O J A.. MOJA.. MOJA MOJA..
moshimo koibito ga uchujin nara
donanna DE-TO nine, narunokana
suiseide chotto mizuabi shite
dosei no wakkade hitosuberi

kotoba nante iranaine
kitto tanoshikute
toki wo wasureru deshou

kinsei de aeru kirei na VI-NASU
suteki na tokoroe tsuretette

moshimo koibito ga uchujin nara
PAPA mo MAMA mo ne-, odorokuwa
mokusei de BOIJA- machibuse shitara
kasei de tomodachi mitsukeruno

yumewa itsuka kanau mono
kokoro awasete
kitto WA-PU dekirune

chikyu wa aokute kirei datta to
minna ni hanashite agetaina

moshimo koibito ga uchujin nara
hiroi uchuwa yuenchi
sui kin chi ka moku tenkai meiou
sa- uchusende tobitatou
sutekina hoshie tsuretette

funny

2008-02-21T03:26:00.002Z

Gone but not forgotten

2008-02-20T04:17:00.004Z

Heard that Lydia Shum aka Fei Fei passed away yesterday.

They said she died from liver cancer and other complications.

I grew up with her shows though, so it's kinda sad that she left in a painful way.

There's another actress whom i haven't heard of for quite long as well.

Wang Tsu Hsien.. kinda like her shows as well..

Birthday

2008-02-18T13:34:00.003Z

TY act cute.
Steamboat/Bdae celebration
Ty act cute.. again..
Bp gang.. rain and shine.. still the same..

Went to celebrate Tsuen Yung's bdae last sat.. it has been more than a year since he last appeared.. Well.. he did slim down abit.. and minggang went head over heels for him.

celebration day

2008-02-15T14:36:00.002Z

went to celebrate ryan's bdae.. ha.. i was late..
but still we managed to gather for a photo shot.. finally.. i think centuries have passed since i've seen a full gathering..
gonna go for another gathering tomorrow..
hope that everything turns out well..

lovers' day, friendship day

2008-02-14T13:32:00.004Z

went to school for a test.. screwed it up a little though.. guess i monster hunted too frequently. got a gift from lili..

lili's one is kinda sweet..

it's a door knob handle..

i met junxian later on.. and he gave me some stuff to eat..

junxian's one is kinda.. er.. unique and very sweet..

valentine also friendship day one de.. ha..

sugar coated peanuts..

by the way.. the "what is man" show..
actually it's about violence in different forms.. hahax.. i got it all wrong.. guess i sucked at literature..

I dream a dream

2008-02-13T13:38:00.004Z

Went to esplanade yesterday to watch a paly.. it was called "what is man". It was an event for the Chinese Festival of Arts.

Rather interesting but kinda hard to understand, with all that chinese and such. I would recommend it but it's not really suitable for minors hahax.. alot alot of RA content.

There were alot of controversial issues, although it's revolving around guys. Are they supposed to cry in silence and act strong, so on and so forth.

There was a poem..

Kinda strange though.. I tried my best to remember most of the content le..

I dream a dream.

Day one, there is light.

Then darkness, then light.

Day two, there is air.

Then darkness, then light.

Day three, there is water

Then darkness, then light.

Day four, there are trees and plants

Then darkness, then light.

Day five, there are fish

Then darkness, then light.

Day six, there are clouds

Then darkness, then light.

Day seven, there is man

Then darkness, then light.

Day eight, there is darkness, then light.

Then darkness, then light.

haha.. very chim..

Metamorphosis

2008-02-11T14:43:00.000Z

Having no clue on where to start
I wandered on with an empty heart

Memories so close and yet so far
Flashes across like a speeding car

Reminiscencing through the night
The things I did, were they right?

As the river flows, as days became night
The phoenix shall rise and take flight

I am still me, but no longer me.
The butterfly exists where the caterpillar used to be